Hey there! Abby here. Given the current state of, you know, all the things, Michael and I decided to take a week and focus on ourselves. The week was busy and honestly just trying to stay sane took a lot of focus and effort. Basically, we’re eating our feelings. It’s fine. We’ll be back soon!
Currently, I am trying to figure out ways where I can make an impact while not giving myself crippling anxiety. Being out on the front lines of activism makes me want to hide under my bed, which is why I admire people who get out there to make their voice heard. I see you and I’ll totally bake for you.
In the meantime I am tuning out of social media more and more as a form of self-care. The constant cycle of news can honestly take you out the game. Know when to turn off your phone and the TV and turn on classical music or listen to your favorite aunties give you advice. Making your voice heard is important and we have to keep fighting if things are ever going to change. Keeping yourself sane is equally important.
A few things that keep me together in times where I feel fuzzy around the edges or anxious:
- Smitten Kitchen’s blog – I love Deb Perelman. She’s lived in New York for forever and loves bread and salted chocolate chunk cookies and has the BEST (THEEEE BEST) recipe for zucchini bread ever. I fed it to the wolves I work with and they thought it was a cupcake. And you know how I feel about cupcakes. *side eye* (For good measure here is a recipe for a giant chocolate chip cookie for one that helps EVERYTHING)
- LUSH. All of it. I’m obsessed with Plum Rain shower gel and Sleepy lotion. But also like… buy 12 bath bombs. Run a bath, light 25 candles, turn on Solange followed by SZA, PREP FOR ALL THOSE FEELS and then let them wash out with the bathwater.
- While those candles are lit do some deep breathing, simple meditation, or prayer. Your whole body can be reset from your mind. I truly believe that.
- Connect with nature. Now, I’m not GREAT at nature, I can’t lie. I run easily 99.7-100.5 degrees at all times. I made that up but I am legitimately hot all the dang time. People gather ’round me for warmth in hard times. I AM A BURNING FLAME. I digress. Being outside usually doesn’t agree with me because I hate the fact that I pour sweat. But even a short walk really helps reset you. Scientists were right! Fresh air is amazing! What will they come up with next?? Amazing. Dragons are real.
- Put your phone on greyscale. Apparently it can help you break the addiction of looking at your phone all the dang time if the colors don’t draw you in. Would you believe they actually make apps according to color theory? (pfft!) They draw you in and keep you looking because you can’t ignore something like a giant RED. NUMBER 1. BORING INTO YOUR SOUL. (For iPhones go to Accessibility > Display Accommodations > Color Filters: ON – it’s trippy!)
- Drink as much water as you can stand (cuz it’s probably still not enough), get a full nights sleep, find a nightly moisturizing routine (SO IMPORTANT to keeping your melanin fresh and smooth), and turn your phone off half an hour before you go to bed. Try it once. I imagine it’s how vegans feel all the time. Don’t become vegan though. Thanks.
- Talk to someone. Find a confidant. Find a good therapist. Work out your emotions. I am very good at being happy. I am also very good at feeling how others are feeling (empath problems). Being sad, being frustrated, or being angry is hard for me to articulate. It mostly comes out in fragmented thoughts and tears. Even if it’s all blubbers and snot – say it anyway. Or try. That’s all you can do.
I hope this week treats us better, friends. And, if not, then…
Abby